People with herpes should wear stickers.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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