Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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