I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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