I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
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Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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