I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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