We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
