Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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