Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
