Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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