so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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