they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
