I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
