Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
