Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
this must be what syphilis tastes like
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
