Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
