You made me cry and you don't even care
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
