i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
