so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he puts the penis in happiness.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
