why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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