Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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