So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
