He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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