'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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