I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
smell my finger.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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