This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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