This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Still dying that you shit outside
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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