How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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