Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
