had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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