Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
