Nicole vs. Life
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
never play flip cup with pint glasses
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
