3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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