That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
