Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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