My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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