Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
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