He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize