So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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