I wish my penis had an off switch
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
