Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
