I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
