his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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