Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Randomize
