Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
