Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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