2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
