why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
