omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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