i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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