yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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