this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
