I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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