going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
