What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He shit in the fireplace
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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