At least make sure they are 18
Why
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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