Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize