I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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