Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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