some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
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Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
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we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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