every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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