at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
