Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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