Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
